One Step at a Time

Well...I am realizing I haven't done a very good job with posting on here...I intend to do a better job! 

   To catch you all up on here... In September, Tommy and I were called to court in the Dominican to testify on behalf of our relationship to the girls and give a plea for our adoption of them. The Orphanage, where they have lived all of their lives, decided to fight us on the issue of declaring the girls abandoned. The girls had to be declared abandoned so that CONANI could petition the courts to obtain births certificates for them, because they have none.  The girls had to have birth certificates for us to complete the adoption. We had to go to court  2 weeks in a row and finally at the end the trial, the director of the orphanage conceded to the abandonment ruling and stated that they felt it was in the girls best interest to be adopted by us. YES...GOD IS STILL IN THE BUSINESS OF DOING MIRACLES!!  

      The official ruling came out from the courts at the end of October and we have been in a waiting room since then or "aka" ..."The Middle Space". In a book called The Land Between, it talks about the Isrealites journey from Egypt to the Promised Land. God rescued them from slavery out of Egypt and guided them to the Promised Land, BUT there were 40 years in the desert until they reached their final destination and all God had for them. The 40 years was their  "Middle Space"..."A Necessary Middle Space". "The desert was where they received the Ten Commandments (the core of their covenant with God), it was also where a portable worship tent, the tabernacle was built. The desert was not intended to be their final destination but rather a necessary middle space where they would be formed as a people and established in their connection to God." Nevertheless , the desert was and IS a Hard Place! 

   The desert of our adoption has been the endless waiting on legalities, paperwork, rulings, not being able to see my girls' faces, feel their touch, hug them tight and comfort them when they needed it most. Grieving over time lost with them, them growing without us getting to be a part of the changes that they are experiencing while WE WAIT! I know God has a plan and it is PERFECT and I know He loves them more than we ever could, but It has been HARD to sit and wait on this "Process" to complete so that we can bring them home, love them, hold them, teach them and guide them with the little time we have left before they will become young adults. We have been able to watch them grow from afar and I am truly thankful for that. We have been able to enter their lives in little blips along the way, which I pray God will use for good in their lives. I Know God has great plans for them both because of all the obstacles we have faced in this journey and how it could never have been possible unless HE WILLED IT!  We have known all along that if this adoption completes we will KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt they were meant to be a part of our family!  In every season of this journey God has provided!! 

    So here is where we are Today! We got a phone call Friday saying that they had just removed the girls from the orphanage. They told us a few months ago this would be part of the process but we were not sure at what point they would do this. They have been waiting on the birth certificates to get in hand before they took them out. As it stands, they are planning to receive the birth certificates this week. They have moved the girls to a government orphanage in the Capital and they will remain their until we get there for our 30 day stay. They were very emotional over this as you can imagine, they were leaving the only home they have ever known, and were taken to a unfamiliar place with unfamiliar faces. We were able to talk to them Friday after they were removed. This was the first time since September and I'm praying they were comforted. Please pray for their emotions and that God Would give them a peace that passes all understanding until we can get there! 

   We have been told once they have birth certificates in hand they will send one last set of paper work to be approved by the US. It is the girls' immigration approval from USCIS. The US will approve, then mail back to CONANI, once CONANI gets this approval in hand, they will notify us that we need to be there within 2 weeks. We will then book plane tickets and head out asap! They have told us we could plan that we would travel within 4 weeks from the time we receive the birth certificates. So...Yes looks like we could travel in March!! 

   There is a part of me that is so excited I feel like exploding and a part of me that is so overwhelmed with all that must take place in the next few weeks,  to make all of this happen! We are also asking God to provide for us financially. We have some steep bills ahead of us in the next few months and are in need of a financial miracle! God has provided each step of the way and I know He isn't going to stop now! Thank you for praying with us concerning this step in the journey. Well, that is all for now. I will continue to update as we receive news and will definantly be posting each day during our 30 day journey in the Dominican Republic! We are so grateful for the family and friends God has given us and couldn't have made it without all of you supporting us along the way! Love you all! 

Reaching the Final Destination!

I am happy to report that we are, Lord Willing, closer to reaching the end of this very long Journey of adoption of Esmeralda and Jada:) When you pray for something for so long and have several obstacles to overcome and very little positive feedback from those in charge (here on earth that is...) I have occasionally gone into auto pilot...still trusting God's provision....but moving on, not trying to dwell not the "what if's". So here we are today...2 years down the road since we submitted the first set of papers to start the adoption process. God has taught us a lot about perseverance, patience, trust, and that we truly are not in control of any part of our lives...LOL!! That last part of lessons learned has just been quite humorous! We can have things all planned out of what WE think will work best and in my mind...I think God just sits back lets us think that for a few minutes we are in control, then he inserts His Plan ever so subtle. God has to get tickled when He can see all that is ahead and we can see only the minute we are in, as He watches us make plans "AS IF" we have any clue what is ahead. I'm laughing as I am writing this! Most days this how I survive...Laugh to keep from Crying!!! Hehehe

So here are the details as we know today:) The girls' birth certificates were finally approved May 9. We are waiting for the actual paper copies to arrive to Conani, the government adoption agency. Sarah is the Point Person on our case. She is second in command of the adoption agency in the DR. We have developed quite a close relationship with her, or should I say Tommy has. He has called diligently every month to get an update on our case and she has been so cooperative and supportive to help us in any way she can. We had yet another hiccup after we got the good news of the birth certificates being approved. We had to file an extension for our US immigration approval because they are only good for up to 14 months once you file. Our expiration date was April 18. Soo I got all of the documents updated they required...sent them off (called our adoption agency in Michigan to double check the address) and they arrived at the "Wrong Department" in time....Yes... the lady in Michigan gave me the WRONG address!! Soo, 2 weeks after I sent the extension request in.... the papers came back to me in the mail with a note that said you sent this to the wrong department. I then Re-sent the papers to the right address, with the note & arrival date of original send attached. The day after we find out about the birth certificates were approved we get the news that our extension as had been denied because they received it late and we had to start over with our immigration approval which could take up to 90 days to get approved and we had to pay 1000.00 more dollars to make this happen. Oh Satan is so crafty sometimes. So needless to say Tommy had some very difficult conversations with our Adoption Agency lady in Michigan. Tommy has also gotten to know very well, James, the officer at US Immigration, who said he would do all he could to push our 2nd approval through as quickly as possible. Officer James was good on his word and we got our approval 2 weeks ago! So...now if all goes well... as soon as the birth certificate papers are in hand Sarah will begin her process of a DR home study on the girls (which will include interviewing the girls to get their consent that they want to be adopted and a couple of visits to the orphanage),  she will put together our file and submit it to the governing committee to make a final approval of the adoption. She has told us that she believes we will be able to travel in November or December to get the girls!! Whoo Hoo & Oh My!!! I do believe this is going to happen! Remember my auto pilot mode?1? Well I haven't known whether I need to laugh or cry!! I am a bit overwhelmed and here is why....

For those of you who do not know, a little angel named Aubree Mae, came into my life the beginning of November and into my family's lives the beginning of December. God put Aubree's mom in my life and allowed us to develop a relationship that would lead to us helping her with her with Aubree.  We agreed to take Aubree in full time as a foster situation. She was 10 months old at the time:) So needless to say God subtly but quickly changed our circumstances in a big way and we have been blessed beyond our imagination with this little doll baby! She has just fit right into the Kyle chaos and rolled with every minute. She can sleep anywhere at anytime, makes everyone smile who crosses her path and has brought so much joy and love into our home, more than I could have imagined! My kids adore her with every ounce of their being and fight over who gets to sit by her in the car, lay beside her, hold her, stroll her, feed her, etc..... I have had more joy watching the 3 of them love her!! I will have to say daddy Tommy has fallen a bit head over heels himself and she has for him. If he is in the room none of us get a chance with her. He has done a very good job of spoiling her as he has done with my other 3:)) I am quite taken with Aubree as well!! We don't know for sure what the future holds for us in this situation but I do believe God is with us and we are giving her all of the love we can in the moments we have been given!! 

Soo... here are the facts....we could possibly have 6 children in our home by January of 2013! All I can say is I do think sometimes God might have a bit more faith in me than I have in myself as a wife and mother:) I am in constant prayer..."God raise these children in spite of me and my failures concerning them". I am nothing but a willing vessel, crazy enough to believe God can do what seems IMPOSSIBLE to me! I have always loved children and always wanted to be a mother since I can remember:) God has truly given me the desires of my heart and even in the overwhelming moments of all it involves, I wouldn't have it any other way!! In my Jesus Calling Devotion book it says...Jesus speaking to me and you..."Do not fear what this day, or any day, may bring your way. Concentrate on trusting Me and on doing what needs to be done. Relax in My Sovereignty, and remembering that I go before you, as well as with you, into each day. Fear no evil, for I can bring good out of every situation you will encounter. (Genesis 50:20; Psalm 23:4). 

We will get more details along the way concerning our travel to the DR to get the girls. We have been told to plan on being there for 5 weeks. We are in process of working out the details of where we will be staying exactly and what that will look like as far as all of the children going with us. 

So here are our Prayer Requests:

*NO more roadblocks from Satan!!

*That the process will move in God's perfect time!

*Prayer for the girls that God will continue to comfort them and protect them until time and make their transition as easy as possible.

*Financial- that God will continue to give us wisdom and provide for us in the remaining expenses. It is looking like we will need around 15,000.00 to cover the remainder of the process. 

*That God will be with my children and prepare them for the changes that are ahead.

                                                                             Aubree..

                                          The kids together when we went to the DR last August:)

* Most of all that we will give God the glory in all things, big and small,  and not take anything for granted! 

Thank you so much for your continued prayers for our family and Esmeralda and Jada! Your prayers have sustained us in this situation and given us strength to press on! I will update you as things progress! Much Love to all of you!!

Heather

Moving Forward!

So excited to report that we received a call from our lawyer last week! She told us that the investigation of the legal department at CONANI (the government adoption agency) was complete concerning the girls birth certificates! When we met with Sara (second lady in charge at CONANI), she told us the process of filing for abandonment birth certificates would take 3-6 months...well 6 months it has. Sonia ( the lady running the orphanage where the girls live), has not been as cooperative with CONANI officials as we hoped she would. Unfortunately, she is just not supportive of us trying to adopt the girls for reasons really unknown to us. We have speculated why she would be hesitant but really don't know and cannot understand her thinking but we continue to pray the God will open her eyes & heart so that she will do what is best in the interest of the 160+ children God has put in her care! We have been fighting an uphill battle for 18 month now in all respects- no children have ever been adopted from this orphanage- no children over 8 have ever been adopted out of the DR ever and we are per-identifying children which is technically against the DR law.... So we are in unchartered territory for the Government & the orphanage...this is why getting this far in the process is MIRACULOUS!!!

Now... We wait for the judge to sign off on the birth certificates & then papers will move to the adoption agency & we can proceed in the final stages. The DR adoption agency will most likely interview the girls to have their consent they want to be adopted & compile paperwork and then submit papers to the committee that will approve or disapprove the adoption. As we all know God will have the final say and our goal was to say we did everything we could to make this happen and God's will for our family would be:)

We are so thankful for your prayers and truly Believe whatever happens will be exactly what is best for these precious girls and our family!! I will continue to update you as we receive word on the process!!!

Report on Adoption Meetings

Greetings from the Dominican Republic:)

Ok...here we go....

I have to include a little pre-meeting detail...LOL...we left the hotel this morning around 9 am. Giovanny and Carolina Valdez, missionaries here in the DR, are our chauffers while we are here. They have a car that seats 5 people and so we ride 2 in the front and 6 in the back. We pack in like Sardines:) It is about a 40 minute drive to Santo Domingo from where we stay. For any of you that have not experienced Dominican driving, it is like being on the raceway...lol! Except you go and stop and go and stop never knowing if someone is going to slam into the back of you, if you might run over someone on a motorcycle that might have a family of 5 on board or if a car is going to stop so that they don't t-bone you! In the Dominican the primary rule is whoever gets there nose out there first has the right away! It is quite an adventure!! Brayden says..."Hey mom if Davis (my nephew) got his license here do you think he would be able to make it one day without having a wreck??). I did give Jackson some dramamine before we left but failed to give the others some....mistake!!! As we approach the city, Jada was in my lap in the front and got a bad look on her face which had VOMIT written all over it, I quickly rolled down the window and out her head went as she vomitted as we were driving down the highway. Oh my! As we approached the lawyer's office Brayden starts to feel sick and when we went in Esmeralda starts crying that her stomach is hurting as well. I quickly administered zofran under the tongue and dramamine for them plus K Mae knowing we had more riding to go....haha!! It was quite eventful! I'm sure the secretary at the lawyer's office didn't quite know what to think as we walked in! We met with the lawyer for about 20 minutes and then headed to CONANI.

When we got to CONANI, we met with the second lady in command. She is very well acquainted with our lawyer. We jumped right in and just shared our story with her from start to finish. Tommy did most of the talking and I silently prayed for God to give him the words. The lady's name was Sarah and she was most attentive. We learned from her that as long as someone meets their requirement of age and marital status they are required to review any case for adoption that is submitted to them. Past that they make an executive decision to recommend or not recommend the case to their committee or board that makes the final decision to allow the adoption or not. Basically what happened in our case is our lawyer sent our papers in and asked Sarah to review and she denied our case to be taken before the board for a decision inn June. She said the reason being that she felt like there was a strong possiblity they would reject our case given the information she was given on paper. BUT....after hearing our complete story and our heart for these children she said...."There is no way I can deny putting your case before our board and the fact that you are here talking with me in person shows that you are committed to seeing this through". Music to our ears!!!!!! Now, she clearly stated that she can only recommend our case and the final say is out of there hands, but that she was willing to do whatever they could do to help us present a strong case. So... WE ARE ON!!! The process from this point on is this:

First we have to obtain birth certificates, this will be done by their legal department at CONANI with the assistance of our lawyer. This could take 6-8 months or sometimes sooner depending on God's timing:))

Second after birth certificates are obtained, their process of review begins, they will go to the orphanage, see the girls situation there, they will interview the girls, and anyone that can attest to the bond/relationship with them. They have to establish our bond with them, so they can prove it would hurt the girls more to not allow the adoption. She stressed their goal is to do what is in the best interest of the children no matter what. Acceptions for special cases have been made in the past but it is not a simple process because they want everyone to go through their lawful process.

So once all their investigations are finished and they have completed the paperwork then our case will be presented to their committee/board. Once in their hands than they will make the decision.

Sooo, we are still in for a lengthy process that we have to TRUST is God's perfect time table. Our lawyer is very committed to helping us and seems very efficient! Please pray that we will be patient and while we wait the girls will be protected and nurtured. We have seen some change in them especially Esmeralda. She is 13 now and as you know starting to come into her own as a young lady. It is difficult even now as we go get them from the orphanage to spend time with us because we know the other girls wonder why is no one coming to get me? I pray that they will not feel the negative effects of being the ones that get the attention. If I had enough money I would put them all on a bus and bring them with us!! Esmeralda gave her life to the Lord about a year ago, and we are so grateful, she is truly a precious young girl but it is hard being 13 and having to real discipline in her life to stay on track! This is why we want to have time to pour into her before it is to late. Jada is still the life of the party not taking to much to serious. She laughs most of the time. She will require a little more attention in the discipline department than Esmeralda and will definately keep us on our toes:)

It has been interesting watching the dynamic of 5 kids together. Esmeralda and Jackson are 2 peas in a pod. Give them a DS and they are happy for hours. Jada, Bray and Kennedy on the other had are quite the trio...jumping from bed to bed, yelling like they are at a ballgame most of the time and running down the halls anytime they think they can get away with it! If we don't get kicked out of our hotel by the end of the week it will be a miracle! LOL! They have had some squabbles, and we have had some hurt feeling moments but overall they have had a good time so far. Kennedy and Jada have been Tommy's shadow and want to sleep with him every night. I have slept with Brayden and Jackson and Esmeralda have had a bed to themselves:)

Well, I am going to close for now. Thanks to ALL of you who have diligently prayed for our family as we pray God's Will in this adoption. We do believe God has heard your prayers and is moving us forward as we see how His Plan unfolds. Words cannot express how awesome it is to know our Family in Christ is praying us through and what strength that gives us! We love all of you and look forward to the day when you can all meet in person the 2 souls you have prayed for! God is SO GOOD!!!!

Much Love!

Heather

Hello everyone! Well, I have done a poor job keeping my blog updated & I apologize for that! As you all know, and if you don't, the adoption process is long & very frustrating at times and not much change occurs until you get near the end of the process....

Here I go as I try and update you on the past year since we started this process in June 2010:

As we started this process we knew we were stepping out on faith and taking a risk that we could jump through all the hoops and still not be able to bring our girls home. Each phase of the process has come with much prayer and has taken the Lord's hand to move us forward in the process. The risk in this process of adopting Esmeralda & Jada are as follows:

1st they are not registered orphans with the Government Adoption Agency (CONANI), Conani has to approve every adoption that takes place in the DR. So the situation is that the lady who runs the orphanage the girls stay in, does not register any of them with the country so they are unadoptable in a sense as far as the government is concerned. The other issue is that the Dominican has become a Hague Convention Country in the last 6 years which means by law they do not allow you to pre-identify children to adopt them. Because of child trafficing in past years they put this law into effect to protect the children. Now, we were told Conani could make acceptions to these things if we presented a strong case and so that is what have been trying to do over the past year.

Along the way God has provided and met us at every turn. As you all know adoption is not cheap even so when you are trying to adopt 2:) But, as for us over the last 4 years in full time ministry, we have had to trust God to provide for us every step and this situation is no different for us. We believed God wanted us to move forward and expect the miracle even if the odds were against us. So that is what we have tried to do! We have had some amazing People of God contribute to get us this far down the path financially. Without those who have given sacrificially and the PRAYERS of SOO many that God would see this through, we would not have been able to get this far. God HAS PROVIDED through His Children!!

Another provision along the way, of God, has been a new home for us. We considered looking for something a little bigger with enough room for 5 children plus all the friends we love to have spend the night:)) We found a foreclosure that was more house than we would have ever asked for! We knew that without a miracle we would never be able to own a home as wonderful as the one we found. God showed up big as we prayed that He KNEW what we needed and when we needed it. If we needed to stay where we were than we would be content to do so, and if we needed the room to be able to provide for 5 children and anyone else the Lord would bring across our path then we would be obedient in that as well! God saw the purchase of this home,we now have, through in 3 months start to finish and sold our house in 8 days!! As a friend said "God is the best real estate agent...lol!" I do not know why God has shown us favor in this move, when I know there are so many other faithful People who need to sell their homes, but in ALL things God is sovereign!! We have been humbled beyond comprehension and are extremely grateful for His blessings!

We completed our final packet of paperwork in May, and they were sent off to the Dominican for translation and presentation to Conani. We received a denial email June 23rd. It was a devastating blow to say the least but not a final say for me or Tommy. We knew we would have to go to battle for my precious girls and that is what we are prepared to do. I compare our battle as though we are David going against Goliath! It seems to most as the impossible but we Believe ANYTHING is possible with God! As we have told the Lord from day one of this journey, if He chooses to not allow this adoption to take place at this time then we will accept His Will and know He knows what is best for our family. Our alternative plan is that, when they are of age we will work to bring them over on an exchange student status and when they turn 18 we can put them in college over here and work to get their green card. So, either way we do believe God wants them to be a part of our family!

We ask for your prayers as our whole family will travel over to the Dominican this Friday August 5. We will be having face to face meetings with our lawyers and the government adoption officials to try and get the denail overturned and to see what our options are. We pray that you ask God to soften the hearts of these officials and go before us! Also, Tommy found out today that a hurricane could hit the DR this Friday the day we are suppose to arrive and so please pray that God will redirect the storm:) We have asked to have the girls stay with us for the week when we are there and we are excited to spend some time together with our WHOLE Family!!

Thank you all for loving us, supporting us and praying for us as we try to be faithful to God's Call on our lives! I will update you as we are in the Dominican on the meetings! Much love to all of you and God Bless!

Well we have officially started the paperwork for the adoption....Lots and Lots of paperwork and more to come. Praying we can get this turned in in a timely manner so we can get this moving. No new news yet on process of getting the girls cleared for adoption yet so please pray for our lawyer as he is working on this. Thanks for all your special comments and prayers...so wonderful to KNOW friends are praying about this with us...Truly Special to us!!!!!

The Kyle Journey

Where to start??? I have decided to start blogging for all the special people in my life. I have wanted to journal and can't seem to find the time so I am going to attempt this:) I have gotten lots of questions about our ministry, our current possibility of adoption and just what is going on in the crazy world of our family. So here we go.....

As we began the journey to go into ministry full time 3 years ago...God placed a burden on our hearts for athletes and coaches in our own country. We were able to take athletes and expose them to short term missions with SCORE International in the Dominican Republic 7 years ago. We were able to watch these athletes gain a new perspective on life through these trips and felt like a difference could be made in their lives spiritually if they had someone pouring Christ into them daily where they were. We felt as though God had given us a burden & a vision to, Lord willing make a lasting impression on their lives. As we all know, not much can happen on any team if the head coach is not on board. So out of our burden for these athletes we want to have an impact on the coaches because their sphere of influence is far reaching. Tommy took over Nations of Coaches which was an pre-existing ministry created by the Executive Director of the NABC. He is a solid believer and created a ministry to minister to coaches & athletes. God had a plan we couldn't have dreamed up if we tried. All coaches in this country are a part of the National Association of Basketball Coaches and Jim Haney the Executive Director is their spokesman to the NCAA. Wow! The man whom every coach in this country knows created the ministry we would come to run with a vision that duplicated ours. God truly is AMAZING in His Plan, and I thank Him daily for giving us the courage to step out when we had no idea what was coming next.

I see where God was preparing me over 4 years of taking us to the Dominican every year, preparing me to not worry about money because month after month He supplied our needs even when on paper it didn't add up. Just situation after situation of Him proving His soverignty in our life. We absolutely loved being at Decatur Heritage and I still miss Tommy coaching to this day but KNOW beyond a shadow of a doubt we are where God has called us to be right now. He says "I'm still coaching but I'm coaching the game of life now". As a result of the trips each summer with athletes Tommy was asked to do bible study for Mississippi State University Men's Basketball Team. He just ended his 3rd season doing bi-weekly bible study with the team & coaches and doing prayers and devotions before as many games as possible. We have seen a tremendous spiritual growth in this program as a whole and are excited to see what all God has planned in the future.

As you can see...it is a lot of information and I haven't even covered all of the miracles God has done as we have been a part of this ministry for 3 years now. He has seen us through every month financially using so many wonderful people to support us sacrificially!! He has given me faith like I have never had before that He will Provide for our needs!! If you have never taken a step of faith trusting God to meet a need that seems overwhelming to you...then I encourage you to ask Him where He would like for you to become more bold. He is FAITHFUL...all He requires of us is our surrender of control so that He may be exalted in our lives! This isn't always easy but trust me the blessings that come when you completely rely on Him is more than I can put into words! I do not have this mastered by any stretch of the imagination but as we are all a work in progress so am I! If we believe He is who He says He is...than we can KNOW every situation in our life is sifted through His Hands and He is ever present in our time of need! Hallelujah!!

As a result of our first trip to the Dominican Republic we bonded with a little girl, in the orphange we were ministering to, named "Yadilka". She was 3 years old and I have the most precious picture of her with my dad this year. As we returned year after year we became attached to her and she to us. We discovered she had an older sister named "Esmeralda" about 4 years ago and bonded with her as well. God broke our hearts for these precious little orphan girls and as Tommy & I have always had a heart to adopt we couldn't stop praying about trying to adopt these 2 precious souls. I can't explain how you connect with a couple of girls out of 130 in an orphanage, all I can say is God did it. As we prayed, we decided to take all three of our children to the Dominican on our last player trip, 2 years ago this August. We wanted our children to see where the girls lived and hope they could grasp them not having parents or a home to live in. We wanted the decision to adopt to be a family decision. As God would have it over the last 2 years it has become a family decision that we pursue adoption if "Jada" & "Izzy". My kids pray for them and have all consented their approval for us to adopt them if God would allow. Tommy's quote," I have thought of all the reasons why we shouldn't do this but God will not release me of it." We feel as though God has asked to step out and try to get these girls, even though it is very difficult to adopt from the Dominican Republic. As we looked at the statistics only 16 children have been adopted from the DR in the last 2 years. There are many risky hoops to jump through for this to take place but we are willing to try. We believe our God is bigger than any circumstance we could face and we are ok with whatever He allows or doesn't allow in this situation. I can't explain all of what is going on now but will report as soon as it takes place. We covet your prayers that God's will be done in the best interest of these 2 precious girls and that we trust His Plan no matter the outcome. I hope I will have lots more good news to report over the next few months and will keep you updated on any changes that occur:) Out of the book "Radical" by David Platt...here are thoughts about adoption that is proven to be our story.....

"We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they're not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes." I can't explain it any better than this!!!!!!!!!